5th June 2002, the day Eloise was being transferred to Great Ormond Street for Transplant assessment. Her condition was showing no signs of improving, her heart function remained extremely poor, other organs weren't doing so well either ! Going to GOSH was her only chance. Sadly mid morning there was a problem there was no longer a bed in PICU in GOSH for Eloise to go into, they were full. I remember the crushing devastation, could my baby hold on for possibly days before a bed became available, would she stay stable enough ? Then a lifeline was thrown at us the Freeman in Newcastle could take her. I'm a paediatric nurse and I'd worked a couple of years previously on a ward that cared for cardiac surgical children and I'd not heard of this transplant centre. I cried and my tears were mistaken for disappointment that Gosh didn't have a bed. Did they not realise I'd have flown around the World to get my baby better ?
The unit became a flurry of activity so much to arrange for her transfer, ambulance to Filton, air ambulance/ plane, a trained crew, Consultant and nurse to escort her, equipment galore. Ambulance to the Freeman once the plane arrived up there. Eloise needed to go on the transport ventilator and all her meds etc put on different pumps. I guess we weren't around while they did all this. I don't remember seeing it. Perhaps we'd gone home to pack our own bags, we had to make our own flight arrangements. I do remember saying goodbye to her, telling her I loved her but I understood if this was all too much for her and she couldn't fight anymore. Again I gave her "permission" to leave me, sounds awful doesn't it ? So I said goodbye knowing there was a possibility this would be the last time I'd she her "alive"
At home I packed, I packed for Summer it was June, Newcastle had different ideas so I froze ! For Eloise I could only pack one sleep suit, she had loads of clothes but I just couldn't pack them . Just one M&S baby grow with a pretty Fairytale castle design on it (which I still have )to put her in if she died, I didn't want her in just a nappy then. I guess when your child is in PICU you get used to them not being dressed.
Later in the afternoon we flew to Newcastle, it felt so strange being surrounded by happy people, did they not know what was happening to my daughter today ? That I may never hold her in my arms alive. The lovely taxi driver who took us from the airport to the Freeman wouldn't take his fare, he said to buy Eloise something. This was just the start of being surrounded by warm , loving and caring people. As we arrived S and J her nurse and Dr were leaving, I'm not sure what happened on that flight, I never got to find out but I believe Eloise wasn't the best behaved of patients for them ! As the flight was described as interesting !
Eloise's new team settled her onto their ventilator and other equipment and later we were reunited with our girl. Strangely she looked better on this ventilator, no more nasty cooling mat but a cooling blanket . The equipment she was surrounded with looked old but the atmosphere on the unit was amazing. I felt relaxed, well as much as you can in this kind of situation. Eloise's transplant assessment begun and so did ours.........
Today at the Metro Shopping Centre this crystal light made up of 1000 crystals is being switched on. I've been speaking to the PR team and shared Eloise's story with them. It seems fitting to me that it's being switched on today the anniversary of the day Eloise flew to the hospital that saved her life. The money from the sale of the hearts is going to CHUF ( Children's Heart Unit Fund ).
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