Single

       

                

I'm single is that a bad thing ? Not to me it isn't it's a way of life I'm enjoying . I feel I've found my true self again after suffocating her for too long, in order to have an "easy" life as part of a couple, marriage. I no longer have to make any compromises. Obviously I have my four children's needs to meet but that's not what I'm discussing here, this is about my free adult time.

   

Is it a problem that I'm single ? Do you find it strange that I'm content ? Is it weird that after three years of being on my own I'm not actively seeking another man ? 

I'm on my own because I want to be, not because I'm deeply distraught because my husband had an affair, not because I'm nursing a broken heart or that I have trust issues. Just because...... 

Don't get me wrong I like male company, enjoy chatting to men , banter,  flirtation even but the thought of "taking on " another man full time just doesn't fill me with joy. I'm not a man hater. I wouldn't run a mile if someone came along and there was a spark, I'd just take things at a slow pace, to ensure it's what I want in life.

Who is out there, which fish are left in the depths of the sea ? 

   1. Too young , lovely thought the younger man but could I deny them a family of their own ? Deny their parents grandchildren etc. Do I want another young person to look after ? Are they house trained ?

   2. The divorced / separated man , is he bitter, angry about his Ex, does he have kids, how often does he see them, what are they like, how would they fit in with my children? I'm not sure I like other people's children enough to let them infiltrate my life or vice versa really. Who wants 4 kids in their life ?

   3. The older man, grown up kids ? Or a bachelor ? Not sure which of these options is worse probably number 2 if he still lives with his mum ! 

    I know I'm just getting carried away with this but I just want you to see that I'm happy. We don't all need to belong to another, to be part of a loving couple. Last night someone said in a lifetime you fall deeply in love 3 times. So on that note I better get cracking to fit all 3 in before I die ! 

If you find yourself single just look at it this way if you are uncomfortable spending time alone with you what makes you think anyone else will feel comfortable in your company? When you're a couple you continuously fill up your life with their life only to discover you really don't know yourself anymore. You have to like yourself ! Sometimes the only way to find you is to be alone, not hop from one relationship to another. 

Being single at my stage of life is different of course I do appreciate that, I dated back to back and over lapped in my late teens and early 20's then I met S, we got engaged,then married and had 4 children before it was over. I have a complete family, my reproducing days are truly over, no hurried dash to meet a mate before the biological clock ticked backwards until your eggs are past their sell by date. I'm sure being single in your mid 30's when you still want Mr Right and a family is truly hard. Do you then settle for less ? Again I digress again I think I settled for less but in a compromise kind of way, actually I did because I don't feel I've truly been in love or been loved. I still feel that will happen for me in the future.

For now just be happy for me, oh and please don't send me direct messages on Twitter just because you see my profile picture and the word single. Single doesn't mean desperate, single doesn't mean I'll lower my standards it also doesn't mean I want to see an unflattering picture of your bits ! This seems to be a common trend these days also encountered by my friends who use Internet dating ! Never happened in my day !