Wants and Needs Revisited

So here we are just three months later from my Blog Post on Wants and Needs and things have changed here. 

     My needs are still fundamentally the same that's not changed. I have all in need in life and I'm satisfied. I appreciate all I have and hold. 4 beautiful children, my home, my wonderful friends, family , great work collegues and ultimately Eloise's continued good health after a difficult year.

          What's changed then ? I want or at least at this point think I want a man back in my life. Things are different at this stage in my life when dating. What you look for isn't the same, on many levels I guess. You've life and dating experience , you have history, you have baggage, you have dependants . I think really it's harder than first time around. 

    When you are young and it's first time around, there seems to be a plan that a lot of us follow, you meet the man of your dreams, date, fall in love, get engaged, have kids and stick together knowing times will be tough. When you have been there and done it, you want completely different things and quite often, you don't even know what those things are, and it's hard to let someone into your life. For me I don't know what I want but from dating several men long term and having a failed marriage I do know what I don't want. I guess with maturity I'm able to speak out and say to someone that's not for me. 

I have my children and I'm financially independent and I don't need a man to sustain me or my life style. 

     At the end of the day don't we just want the same thing ? Someone who makes us happy, someone who makes us feel special, someone that cares. I know friends can fulfill these needs too but.......

                            

Ok then this is what happened and where I am now. A friend told me about the FB app Tinder, I think it was a Sunday but that's hazy already . Out of curiosity I downloaded it and set up a profile. To explain it in simple terms, it's a dating app. Photos, short bio and you then add age range of partner you are looking for and distance from you. Tinder then provides photos of men in your area. You swipe the picture one way for Yes and another for No. If you and the man both swipe Yes you have a match and can message each other. Anyhow got a fair few matches but on closer inspection things weren't as good as they seemed, too far away, monosyllabic on messaging , or just plain weird.  

      

      From it I was matched with W, we chatted a little and just a day or so I had his mobile and I met him very briefly in Town. From that fleeting visit our texting went a little crazy. Days later it was time for my two weeks in Turkey, in preparation we added each other on FB, downloaded Messenger and exchanged email addresses. Thank goodness for these free methods of communication and the advancements in technology that allowed us to continue chatting. Messages pinged back and forth as we learnt more about each other.

           Last Sunday I arrived home, W and I had our first date arranged for Monday meeting in a local coffee shop. But by 4pm I decided to ask if he wanted to bring it forward. So first date night was Sunday. We went to a Country Pub and luckily discovered we could converse and make each laugh in reality without the use of FB smiley symbols ! It was a success .

        Monday was a 11 hour date ! Really good fun, coffee, walk around the Harbourside, Lunch, two country pubs and back into the City for Dinner. Being together for that length of time seemed natural. Wednesday Evenings date drinks in a local pub and Friday's the Adults Only night at the Zoo. Yesterday was another marathon all day date. We've already got a joint membership to the National Trust, so we went to Tyntesfield and had a wonderful day together. Yesterday was spent shopping and having a nice lunch out. Followed by a DVD evening with my children , who have accepted W into our home. 

   So there we are one week six dates all very lovely, it's still very new and it's quite strange how fast things have happened. It's just 4 weeks since I installed that App. It's now deactivated , there were some strange men on it ! It's fate I guess W had only just installed the App too. So who knows where the future will take me but for now I'm happy and surely that's the important thing ?