Juggling life, multi tasking , all systems go that's me, I thrive on it. I like organising my life and being a mother of four who parents alone I have to be organised. I liked rushing around, I liked being busy, I liked having a full schedule . See the past tense creeping in there ? Well one day I realised I couldn't do it all any more I was burning myself out and no one had noticed. I was over committing to everything and everyone . Why ? Guilt possibly, being a people pleaser, fear, the inability to say no. I guess I allowed some people to take advantage of my kind nature and my time. So I failed and I actually liked it.
I now pick my battles, I can say no, I can walk away and I can put my own needs first. I feel free, life is a hell of a lot easier and I feel refreshed. Why do we punish ourselves for actually taking care of ourselves once in a while ? Why are we constantly in a rush, pushing ourselves to breaking point ? This maybe life but is it living ?
So I decided I was worthy of some "me time" I embrace the feeling I get from being on my own at the gym, the time I spend soaking in the bath, the time I spend reading on the sofa etc. I've learnt that as I'm running a home and looking after my children on my own it is super important to take care of ME. I don't have a replacement and I'm on my own. I have no time to burn out, if I neglect myself I will crash and burn, I so nearly did. I used to feel guilty for taking a day to relax, let alone a weekend. Everyone asks you what you've been doing all day, it seems wrong to say nothing, why ? Why do we have to rush around and fill a day ? It's not selfish to want to just chill out, it's not a waste it's necessary.
You have to take care of yourself emotionally, it's not just about drinking water and eating leaves ! So slow down, prioritise what's important, celebrate the little successes and deal with sadness rather than hiding it away. A big one is letting go of the past, I struggle with this hugely , I have a lot on replay in my head but I deal with it all now or at least I manage it well. Learning to say NO, this is also huge, I think I've just become better at this with age, quiet nights in are often more appealing than sitting in a pub ! My time is precious so I like to choose who I spend it with and what I do with my time. So just reconnecting with ourselves, replacing fear with trust and letting go of the things we can't cannot control this is self care. Just be yourself, love yourself, embrace your uniqueness this is self care. Stay in the present, live for the moment, give yourself thinking space , this is self care. Be gentle with yourself, now that truly is self care.
Can many of us honestly say that we love ourselves ? Why are we often unhappy with ourselves so often dwelling on our faults ? You wouldn't be so harsh to a friend so why are you so critical of yourself ? You have to learn to love yourself so that you feel worthy and comfortable in your own skin. We all think we are too fat for instance, you're never as big as you think. Besides, since when did a higher body fat percentage have any bearing on what makes you a quality human being ! Appreciate your body and what it can do, basically I go to the gym as its good for my soul and not just the way it potentially could make me look if I stopped eating cake. Let's be happy being practically perfect rather that always trying to achieve perfection. Just be kind to yourself , it's one of the best things you can do for yourself.Just try and be happy as you'll feel more deserving if your self esteem improves. Celebrate who you are. I have so many wonderful friends who don't realise how amazing they are and how valuable they are to me. They cannot see what I see so maybe I need to tell them more frequently ? Also don't beat yourself up when things don't go to plan, be kind to yourself.
To me being mentally strong helps me to handle the challenges my life often decides to throw at me. It always seems to be all or nothing here ! I try to recover as quickly as I can from these "set backs " often by self preservation. So I may retreat a bit from real life and social media, I'll take more baths, I'll swim and you'll probably see a blog post pop up, ta, da !!!! All these things work for me, so I do recommend finding your own coping strategies for dealing with stress. I'm lucky in that I'm an optimistic person, I prefer the bright side so I think that always helps me too.
I guess part of the struggle is when does self care become selfish ? Why is it wrong to focus on your own needs, desires, feelings and opinions ? Why is this perceived as selfish ? In my opinion this is my life to use as I want to, selfishness is about a lack of consideration for other people this isn't the same as a healthy self esteem through self care. For me looking after number one has given me the mental resources I need to reach out to my friends and those I support in life without leaving myself drained.
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