Never Enough.

                    

    

 Never enough, my chosen title for my latest mutterings. Who else is now belting out that hit "Never Enough" from The Greatest Showman ?  Loran Allred you have competition lady ! Seriously though these words are bouncing around in the empty recesses of my brain at the minute so I thought I'd try and write something down. 

People, you have various relationships in your life, mother, partner, work colleague, friend, confidante, child , family member and many , many more.  Some relationships are significant and some are insignificant ( can I say that?) You try so hard to make relationships work, no one likes failing. I like to make people happy and I'll try hard to make people smile. It's also good to make the other person in the relationship proud of you. Then there are relationships where you could bend over backwards ( I physically can't even touch my toes.....) and it still wouldn't be enough. You try and try desperately to please someone and it's still not enough, never enough. . Now it's a bit of a problem a dilemma really not being enough. You just have to decide whether it's your problem or theirs.......Now I'm old and wise(r) I've come to realise it's not my fault. I've accepted that for some people I'll never be good enough.

It's quite sad realising that you'll never be enough for someone but it can also be quite liberating.  If a person is rejecting you and your friendship they are setting you free really to be with someone who accepts you for who you are. I guess this can go for someone who puts you down all the time too. , you realise you can't please them, so you can be brave and set yourself free. No one needs to be controlled emotionally. You can't please everyone, you can't control their expectations of you, you can't control how they view you, you can't control how they judge you. It's all a game and sometimes you have to quit playing it. 

Sometimes we have to take a step back, take some time out, remove ourselves from a situation or relationship to actually focus and see it more clearly. Why do we need to feel accepted ? Why do we put certain people on pedestals ?  Why do we let people judge us ? Why do we allow toxic friendships ? I think if we are all honest we have all been hurt before but those past painful experiences have shaped us into the people we are right now. I know I'm much stronger for it, I've met the right people at the right time. I know I'll always be enough for the core of people I've allowed into my life. They love me and I love them in return, it's a genuine love. I am enough for them, they've seen the struggles I've been through, they know my worth, my strengths , my sadness, my past. Together we can laugh and smile to numb the pain of the difficult days. It's ok for me to admit there are tough days but made easier with the right people next to me. 

You’ll never be good enough because the truth is, you’re more than enough. You’ll always be more than “good enough.”  Look in the mirror and be kind to yourself and say "I am enough."

If this is a karaoke blog post we are now all belting out a floor shaking rendition of "This is Me"  while sticking our finger up at those rejected us for being "Never Enough."  Lots of love Bec xxxx