Don't Burst Our Bubble !

We've had a lovely couple of months since we had the good news in January that Eloise's coronary arteries all looked good and her heart was still healthy despite the two rejection episodes. Eloise was seen again in February by Dr Martin and again no concerns. She's had her bloods taken regularly and her Tacro dose adjusted accordingly . In fact only the one adjustment in 3 months so that's good, more stable.

    We've enjoyed ourselves and been relaxed. Life's been good. I've been happy and not afraid to say it out loud but now as we are getting nearer to Wednesday I'm losing confidence again. Saying everything is fantastic seems wrong , not surprisingly my happiness is reflected in my daughters health. If she's ok and doing well everything is perfect if not it's tough. With Eloise you can't just look at her and say she looks extremely well and healthy , she always does. Even when her heart was severely compromised in September she still looked incredibly well and felt great. 

                                        

           At times like this I wonder what life would be like without transplant issues, without this constant worry that things are going wrong, life expectancy figures etched in your head. Years of predicted post transplant life going by like sand running through an egg timer, hoping the sand doesn't run out. What is life like ? I suppose we all have our fears and worries in life, some big and some small. To me though there cannot be anything greater than a mother's fear of losing her child. Other things can be replaced, solutions found, changes made , but nothing can bring back a living person after their death. 

       Looking at it in another way though, are we part of the enlightened ? We have seen first hand the fragility of life, been given a second chance for our loved one because of organ donation. Do we live our lives differently ? Make every day matter, pack in as much living as we can in every day. If opportunities are offered are they taken up , just because.....When things don't go quite right in life do you cope with it better because for now you have survived the unimaginable . Nothing can be worse than what you have been through as a family except death itself. I don't know the answer. I do know we have a lot of fun together as a family, that if we want to go on a day trip for example we do, hence an impromptu overnight stay in Weston-Super-Mare last week as the children wanted to ! Having all these good times just makes me greedy for more, so please don't burst our happy bubble.