Wants and Needs ?

Have you ever sat down and written a list of what you want in your life and what you need in your life ?Just to try to put your muddled thoughts in order. If not I think it's a useful exercise.

     I wrote mine in the the New Year, instead of New Years resolutions I guess. God it was a struggle, I suppose made harder as I didn't know what was happening with Eloise's heart so writing about what I wanted seemed trivial. Anyway over a few days I wrote my lists, in the bath mainly, luckily I didn't drop the iPad ! At times it made me emotional looking back over past events but at the end of the day the past is over and it's time to move on .

                                      

                                          

So I wrote down a lot of things, varying from financial needs, emotional needs, the need for "me" time and so forth. Very hard to distinguish between your wants and your actual needs but I really tried. I then left it as a note in my iPad. In fact that's where it remained until this week , I probably spent around three hours writing those lists, three hours I'll never get back, or will I ?  Was this exercise just another form of free therapy, thinking time, analysing my life in it's present form . Did writing everything down help me realise a few months down the line that I actually have all I need in my life ? That things happen for a reason, that changes happen subtly not just because you've written a list.  The answer is a most definate yes. In less than a second without being reread the list became no more ! Deleted lost in cyber space, where it belongs.

    When my children are all well, life is so, so good. I know I'm lucky, I have so much in my life and we don't struggle. My balance between Family Time, being at work and me time is working out perfectly. I have a social life !!!! I'm so loving the new friends I'm making at City Socializer , some are just friendly faces whereas others are already becoming that little bit closer which is lovely. Nice to get CS messages , friendship requests and text messages from people checking you are ok. I'm getting to see Bristol as an independent adult not just as a mother. It's a scary other World out there ! 

     Transplant wise I now have a core group that I have a deep bond with, we're all different but it works , I hope ! I've also got all my lovely ladies at work to go out with and we try and meet up for coffee and cake out of work every couple of weeks. So what's not to like ?  I'm one lucky lady.

I also started #FrockFriday in November, not missed a week since. Why wait for a special occasion to dress up and look nice(ish) ?

One of the sticking points on the list was a future relationship with a man , was it something I wanted ? Was it something I needed ? I'm independant, I can cope with caring for my children and running my home. I can get comfort and support from my close friends. I get hugs, kisses, and to hold hands ( occasionally ) so I have a level of human contact with members of the opposite sex ( did the word member just make you snigger ? ) When you have four children you have to take their needs into consideration , I think if I wanted a new man in my life the time's right for all of us, I've been separated d 3 years this month ! But then do I want to share my space ? Etc, etc. What baggage will they bring with them ?  I guess only time will tell, not past first base yet so no point in over thinking ! I like male company always have done so it's been good being in the relaxed company of interesting men again . So never say never. 

Henry " Mummy, you need a boyfriend else you will die lonely " wise words ????