Another year
On the 10th June 2017 we celebrated another precious year of life for Eloise. Another year with my miracle. Another year that wasn’t promised. Another year against the odds. She’d made it. Also in June we celebrated Eloise finishing her secondary school education and attending her school prom. She looked gorgeous while still retaining her quirky style. I never thought I'd see here complete her Primary education so for her to complete her Secondary education fills me with joy.
In July we went on holiday to Turkey again for the umpteenth time but it’s Eloise’s favourite place and that’s important. Making memories, taking too many photos, is that even possible ?
In August we celebrated again this time Eloise’s GCSE results , that kid with the horrific attendance did well. She passed 8 of her exams getting 7 B’s and 1 C , this meant she was excepted into 6th form to take her A’levels. Despite having so much time off she always caught up with her work and was a conscientious student.
September meant more cake as Eloise turned 17 , how did that happen. Once it seemed impossible that Eloise would reach this age but here she is starting college to take three A’levels.
October brought the end of an era as Eloise said goodbye to Bristol Children’s hospital, the wonderful team of cardio techs and her consultant Dr Martin. Time to transition to adult services. Another big step but forward so that’s the way we like it. It’s hard saying goodbye to people who are so important as without their amazing care from the onset of Eloise’s illness I wouldn’t be writing this post.
December another Christmas and New Year, precious memories made, family times and days that were never promised.
The months mingle and blur together, our week in a lodge in Somerset, our hot tub chats, Eloise starting her first job helping out at Zebras After School Club, her geography field trip, meeting other young people on a BHF meet up, beautiful memories, bonus days. Days that I never take for granted, days I like to fill with happiness.
In April we had the best day receiving the priceless news that Eloise’s heart looks healthy and has no signs of coronary artery disease. She was so brave lying there having that angiogram done awake. She’s such a strong and brave creature. Soon she will be leaving Great Ormond Street Hospital too so it really is the end of an era.
Today she told me how impressed her IT teacher is with her work and report on spread sheets, she went above and beyond with her homework and took it to another level. He's the spread sheet expert but used Eloise's work as an example. She's really found her niche and subjects she is passionate about. Hopefully this will later lead into an apprenticeship for her.
So here we are back full circle to the 9th of June, the day I was told a potential donor had been found for Eloise. How can you be excited and happy when you know that somewhere a baby has died ? Yet totally appreciating this is the only chance your child has of surviving. You're being given hope tied up in a huge knot of sadness. Also at this point I didn't know if Eloise would even survive the surgery, she arrested in front of me at 22.00hrs just before being taken into theatre. Once stable I said goodbye to her before she was taken through into the theatre suite. Nothing at this point was certain and I guess even now we live a life of uncertainty.
So as I write this I’m extremely aware that Zara never reached these growing up milestones, never had these experiences. It is such a year of change, starting to go from child to adult. I only hope Eloise continues to give her donor family comfort. I know that Rebecca loved meeting Eloise for the first time in April. I've heard from Rebecca today, it's strange that both of us have changed recently , she's said in her email "I'm not too bad this year....." I felt like that during Eloise's diagnosis day. Time hasn't healed me but it's shown me how to deal with my feelings.
So Today the 9th June is for remembering Zara and then tomorrow the 10th June we will celebrate 16 years of life and living all thanks to Zara's gift.
