Onwards and Upwards

Life dare I say it is moving along nicely into calmer waters......I can feel the tensions of the last few months leaving my body, no more insomnia, no more palpitations and really little need for bath therapy zone out time ! Although that is still a pleasant way to spend some me time ! 

       Yesterday Eloise was seen in Bristol Cardiology clinic by her lovely consultant. All went well, he said her heart looked happy again , good to hear. Fluid still hanging around but as previously stated that's probably there for the duration and causing her heart no loss of function. Heart rate also remains elevated but again GOSH has a drug plan for that in April if it persists. Eloise is now on 2mg of steroid and feeling fine, she's managed to avoid every bug thrown her way. School attendance up from 71% to 78% so having a Saturday outpatient appointment and bloods tomorrow during school holidays can only help that issue.

I have continued to meet weekly with new people via City Socializer www.citysocializer.com

It's working well, last week I went to the Bristol Ram and listened to a band and yesterday I met around 30 people at the Hole in the Wall for drinks and chat, enjoyed a cider or two ;-) Next Sunday I am going to Zaza Baazar with the group.....there starts a busy week for me ! Three shifts at work, Zaza Baazar with work colleagues Wed, War Horse theatre to Cinema link up Thurs with Eloise. Friday Mass Mingle with CS and Saturday out with the girlies. So yes I have a life ! 

Also developing quite a love affair with my two Nikon Cameras , been wandering around my side of Bristol taking a few snaps. Today's offerings.

                        The Downs     

                     Bristol Suspension Bridge

Royal West of England a Academy of Art

I just love living here, it's a great place, all the photographs I have taken of Bristol are all of landmarks within walking distance of my home. I am lucky to live in this central location. I know a lot of you probably prefer the country but it's not for me. The City is where I feel at Home.

 

My Son Henry

A childhood dream of mine was to have four children but as many of us know children are expensive so after Daughter number two Eloise came along my family was complete. Then fate played my family a cruel hand and Eloise ended up fighting for her life and having a heart transplant. Initially the odds on survival you are given are poor a certain percentage not surviving the first year, more dying before reaching five years and average life expectancy being ten years ( in 2002 ) It made us reassess our priorities in life and the number of children we had. On the 22nd of May 2003 Amelia Rose was born , nearly to the day Eloise was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. Millie became our bandaid baby, she made things easier,  a new focus and a playmate for Eloise. So again our family was complete.

       In 2006 we decided that we would try for baby number 4 and a couple of months later I was pregnant . Sadly when I went for my 12 week scan the baby had died a couple of weeks earlier but I hadn't miscarried , this was February 2007. I had to have an operation to remove the pregnancy and it was all quite traumatic and a little complicated. My body took a long time to recover and I didn't fall pregnant again until Summer 2008. 

                  The first few weeks of my pregnancy were an anxious time I made many a visit to the a Early Pregnancy Unit for check ups and reassurance scans. But my pregnancy progressed. I also paid to have a nucal fold scan as by now I am 39 years old. The results were excellent so I relaxed into my pregnancy. My pregnancy was uncomplicated, but as I had quite a few risk factors my pregnancy was monitored at the hospital. Risk factors being, my own heart defect, previous pre eclampsia, previous emergency csection , previous premature baby, previous large baby and group B strep carrier. Sadly some Registrar decided at 7 months to discharge me back to midwife care. At 40 weeks no sign of labour progressing , I was fed up . It was snowing heavily and my midwife was concerned so I walked to the hospital to be assessed for induction. I was scanned and monitored then sent away.

                   

  At 41 weeks pregnant On the 7th February in the evening I went into labour. With Millie labour progressed really quickly as she was born within half an hour of getting to hospital ! We drove carefully in the snow. On arrival I was put immediately onto the CTG machine to monitor my contractions and baby's heart rate. It soon became apparent that baby was struggling it's heart rate dipping very low. An obstetrician was called , she was very reassuring and hoped to be able to break my waters to speed everything up. However by getting me in position for this procedure baby's heart rate went down to 60. For a baby this is very low and my labour needed to be stopped. I was given medication into my thigh which stopped my contractions from being so strong. I was then prepped for an emergency c- section. S being no good in this situation stayed in the room while I was wheeled into Theatre. 

             

   At 2.30am on the 8th February 2009 my baby was dragged into the World  screaming. I heard the words "it's a boy " closely followed by "I think he's ginger !" Both equally shocking to a mother of three daughters who all had dark blonde hair ! My son Henry James Ayrton Verrier Allen had arrived safely weighing a huge 10lb 8oz ! As I hadn't had time to receive anti biotics in labour Henry had to go to NICU to have a cannula and iv antibiotics, to prevent strep B infection.  I was lucky he was well after His ordeal , as Millie was 9lb 15oz at 39 weeks I should have been induced then not left another 2 weeks putting him at risk. I should never have been taken off of consultant led care. Thankfully for us the outcome was ok but a c-section could have been avoided.

        

   Roll forward 5 years and today it's Henry's 5th Birthday. He's a healthy sturdy chap, very much all boy ......well until he chooses his clothes and asks if it's fashion ! I am so glad he came into our lives. The girls and I enjoy having him around . He was only 2 when S left, he provided us with a welcome distraction as he needed us. He strengthened my relationship with Leah who was always more of a daddy's girl, she adored baby Henry. He has filled our home with Superheroes, dinosaurs and cars ! I am so lucky to have my son, he is funny, loud, boisterous , loving, determined and he's mine. As for his ginger hair, it took me a long while to get used to it ! Now he has grown into it and I couldn't imagine him without his red hair and freckles ! 

       

 Happy 5th Birthday Henry, I hope you have a day that is as fun filled as you are. Love you to the Moon and back lots of love Mummy xxxx

 

Goodbye January and Hello February !

I hate wishing time away, time is so precious and given to us to enjoy but I feel I have just been moving forward. Perhaps existing rather than living, of course there were happy times but the fear of Eloise's appointment and angio hung over us like a dark shadow. Now that appointment is in the past, we have the results all positive. Normal ( I love that word ) coronary arteries, then a good Tacro result topped off with the zero rejection result of Eloise's cardiac biopsy. So we can say goodbye January, you came good in the end ! 

        Hello February we have lots of lovely family time planned, highlights being Henry's 5th Birthday, how did that happen do quickly ? We also have our annual trip to Butlins in 2 weeks time. The children love going there, the swimming pool and slides being the biggest thrill....For them not me , I just freeze following Henry around from one pool to the next ! 

            Yesterday the 1st of February was a new beginning for me, I met up with 9 other people who I have never met before and went to the MShed and looked at a photography exhibition with them. 

Wildlife Photographer of the Year, being honest wildlife and animals aren't my thing but photography is ( not any good at it, just an enjoyable hobby ) So we spent 2.5 hours together, looking at the pictures and chatting over coffee and cake. Nice group 5 ladies and 4 men. I have joined City Socializer, a way of meeting people for friendship, all ages, male and female. Lots of events planned you just sign up for any that interest you. So I have chosen 3 more events, will report back ! It is so hard as an adult to meet new people. Even though I have lived in Bristol for 17 years my friends are my work mates past and present and a few people I have met because of the children . I guess I became a mum almost as soon as we moved here so never experienced Bristol as a single person. Now I am ! 

               Yesterday I also changed my FB status from separated to single.

         Although I prefer this quote ! 

I decided that I am no longer separated , separated from what ? No one I want to be with . The relationship status seemed to me like I was holding onto something which I'm not. I am complete .

I feel really positive and I am looking forward again after life being on hold for a while. I appreciate we are very lucky and have a good quality of life as a family . 

So Hello February we welcome you with open arms , another chapter in our life awaits us.