Isolated
Just thought I’d write a few things down regarding Covid-19 and the impact it’s having on me and my family. It’s possibly different to how you think I maybe feeling.
For the last few years since her 2 rejection episodes in 2013 we’ve pretty much been able to forget Eloise has had a heart transplant unless she’s at an outpatients clinic, having an angiogram, having blood tests or I’m trying to get her medical travel insurance. That’s the way we like it, please never take normal life for granted it’s what so many of us crave. The transplant world isn’t somewhere we chose to visit and while I’m happy to run a Heart Transplant support group I found when Eloise was unwell in 2013 I wanted to deal with what was happening by not posting in the group. I wanted to deal with what I was going through pretty much on my own as that was easier for me. Otherwise I’d have to support all the people who were worrying on our behalf, I didn’t have that extra energy. However I’m very happy to have found like minded (transplant) friends along the way. People who I’d have clicked with anyway as they are my kind ! In that way we are no longer isolated.
To me Eloise is special and she amazes me everyday with her attitude and resilience as well as her way of dealing with so many things. I also have three other amazing children with equally as important qualities and I’m so proud of them all.
So back to this virus, it’s making something I push to the back of my mind be right in focus. I can’t get away from it. I’m not one for hand sanitiser, or someone who worries about common infections. I’ve let Eloise do everything her siblings have done without scrubbing her down etc, just a normal grubby childhood of dirt and worms. Yet Eloise is vulnerable to this infection. Eloise is immunocompromised. Eloise has one of those underlying health conditions. Eloise is in a at risk group. No one knows how someone with a lowered immunity post organ transplant will be if they catch covid -19 and I guess it’s best not to find out. So Eloise has stopped going to university. She was back at nursery 3 months post transplant and has done all the stages of schooling with her peers and now I’ve told her she’s different and it’s best she stays home. That’s what I’m struggling with but I know that I’m doing the right thing so I don’t need convincing but that doesn’t mean it makes acceptance any easier.
I just want normal back so I guess that’s just asking people who don’t have vulnerable family members to think of families like mine. To not just have the selfish well I’m ok attitude, to not judge those who are worried, to not take away the supplies and medication from those who need it more than you. How can we have gone so quickly from “Be Kind” to screw this every man for himself? How desperately sad.
So please don’t think Eloise is in lock down because I’m scared, she’s actually currently roller skating around the park. She’s going to be mainly at home because it’s possible. Her university has been amazing, the technology is in place for lectures to be recorded along with all the slides, some lectures can be seen in real time and Eloise can join in ! She can also use Skype, the joys of Eloise being a tech and computer geek. We can still go outside to open places which is what Eloise prefers anyway. If I felt the restrictions were detrimental to her mental health I’d have to reconsider but she doesn’t get cabin fever like I do. At the moment the rest of the family will carry on as normal but we will continue to monitor the situation and take guidance from the transplant experts. I know I’m known for being laid back and that’s not particularly changed here, you have to consider that Eloise is now 19 years old, this is her life and her decisions to make. I’m just here to support her and make her choices happen.
