My finely tuned life, became a little off balance six weeks ago in more ways than one ! As you know I had a fall that resulted in me fracturing my foot and being put into a plaster cast and given crutches. The instructions being I wasn’t to put any weight through that foot. So immediately off balance, my hopping skills are poor, I’m absolutely rubbish at standing on one leg. Then reality sets in, I’ve lost control and I have to ask for help. I prefer to do everything myself , I love being independent but that was taken away. It was so frustrating but also a humbling experience as I have friends who deal with much bigger struggles than this daily, for them it never ends. I knew that I’d be standing back on my two feet at some point .
I’ve made my life balance over the years in order to be the best version of myself mentally . If self care is selfish I’m an extremely selfish woman. I’m lucky to balance the needs of my family and my own needs. One of my biggest needs is exercise, obviously physically I’m no advertisement for fitness but mentally I’m pretty sound and that’s why I go. Anger management, solitude, tension release, zone out, happy hormones and of course it’s important to breathe. Let’s not forget that Homes Under the Hammer can be viewed on your very own screen on the cardio machines ! When life gets tough I thrash that gym, however here I was under house arrest when I so needed head space. Eloise had an appointment at Great Ormond Street, this increases my anxieties hugely and I had no way to release my tension. Another go to place when I’m stressed is the bathroom for a long candle lit soak in the bath. Again access denied. It was like I was being tested, let’s see if she cracks up, obviously I didn’t and I remain crazily sane ! I’m thankful that during the time I was in the plaster cast the weather was amazing as sitting outside really helped. I devoured books, losing myself in their adventures for hours.
I guess I did manage to rebalance my life during this period, I had to accept the changes and adapt to them. Finding balance again was important to me. I had to decide what was important and that was allowing my leg to heal. So I had to miss out on a few things, I had to accept I couldn’t do everything around the house but I prioritised what was important. I became excellent at hanging out washing on one leg !
Of course times of crisis also allow you to see who steps up who offers emotional support, who brings you cake, who ferries you around, who sits with you to keep you company to break up your day. It was a very isolating experience, quite strange I’m saying that as some days when I am out and about I get totally peopled out and seek solitude ! Maybe it was just the freedom to choose being taken from me I didn’t like. It was also good to see the kindness of strangers, the people who helped me while I was wobbling around on my crutches, the helpful staff at the train stations, the patient taxi drivers, the staff at the BRI fracture clinic and A/E. So thank you to all of you that dragged me through the tunnel towards the light and warmth of Spain. To those that didn’t bother sod you then.
So many lessons learnt during such a short period of time, so in hindsight maybe I just needed to slow down, take a deep breath and appreciate the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with and find some peace within myself. I didn’t fail.
