Living the dream of many people with demanding families I guess ? Child free, 100% adult time. No demands on my time, no nagging , no assault on my senses from multiple electrical devises , no arguing, no fights to referee. No noise really right now, except the odd bird chirping. How is this achieved ? Through heart ache and pain initially I guess ,my marriage break up and ultimately my husband's affair. Now we're 3 years down the line, life's moved on, it's evolved, improved and it's a better life. For me, my children and for S I'm sure. In fact S arranged and paid for this hotel stay for me and Warren with his hotel loyalty points, and we got an upgrade on arrival. So we're here and S is where he should be too, looking after the children and spending quality time with them. We all win, all 7 of us in this equation. Not sure S's partner is ever really a winner , she's alone every other weekend.
I'm reflecting a little on my marriage Today , I suppose wondering if we'd spent quality time like this weekend I have had with Warren would it have survived, adult time being S and Bec, being a couple not just parents, mum and dad ? In our case I think not, there was an underlying incompatibility from the start of our relationship which we both ignored as we wanted each other. Both admitting we were the opposite type to the person we'd normally be attracted to. I guess for some opposites do indeed attract. So my friends if you can get some child free time spend it with your other half, enjoy each other's company again, date. I do believe in date night, perhaps it should be added into the vows of marriage ?
Right as usual I've digressed from the title The Future, my future, my families future. It's looking clearer now, we're going to be fine aren't we ?
Back to living the dream , I'm living it with a thin line of nightmare running through it. Why do you think I'm an insomniac ? Something obviously keeps me awake, something(s) worry me. They can be simple day to day worries like the boiler being a little dodgy and clanging away to Eloise's health. So a whole range of things and problems. Some you'll understand others I hope you never have to. I guess I still over think things , let them whirl around in my head before putting them once again in order so a sense of calm and often common sense can prevail. I guess it's worse when you are on your own. I know I have Warren in my life but I'm fiercely independant and possibly a little too English !
Eloise, she looks great at the minute but she always does even during a medical emergency. I'm hoping things are all good with her heart and the events of last year are behind us. Hopefully she'll have her bloods taken next week and her Tacro level will be stable and on the 22nd we have an appointment in Bristol to see RM her cardiologist. I need her well, I need her and her transplant family to have a future. We need medical advances, new procedures, research and new medication. I believe these things are possible, I have hope. My girl will have a future. At school she does dance instead of PE at the minute and her teacher thinks she is better than the GCSE students and wants to enter her in a competition, those of you that know Eloise in reality will smile at this. We often joke she is Miranda Hart's love child as she's so awkward !
My other three gorgeous children are doing well, Leah has her first Saturday job, she'll enjoy that and develop new life skills. I think she's destined to have a bright future as long as she puts the effort in and grabs it. Millie has settled in well at secondary school, she's made new friends and is loving, dance, band academy and choir, I think this school which specialises in performing arts will be good for her. Although I'm not too sure of her dream to win the X-Factor before she leaves school ! Henry, my lovely boy, he gets more delicious every day, he'll be fine . They will all have bright futures, I'll make sure of that. I've lone parented them from the beginning and so far I'm proud of what they/we have achieved, it's the best job ever being mummy.
Another worry is our financial future, I'm sure that's the same with many of you whether you are married, divorced or single. I'm meeting with a solicitor on Friday for the first time as S and I work out our financial settlement and divorce. So far S has been good and I'm hoping it continues. Just worried on a few issues, so they'll need to be discussed. They may alter our/my future. I need to know if he is financing the children going to University. I already know I won't be able too, I don't think he should deny them this opportunity . He enjoyed his time at uni, I want that for my children. My other thought is how much of the Maintainence is for the children ? How much to maintain me as his Ex wife ? Is my financial future dependant on me staying alone as in never living with anyone let alone remarrying ? He can have the relationship he wants but can I ? I know money's not everything but it bloody helps. I also know real love conquers all and there will be a way forward , a future.
The future, I try not too look to far ahead incase I don't like what I see but I think it's going to be ok. Health is the main thing I want for my family closely followed by happiness, if we have both of those everything else is a bonus. If it's anything like the present I'll have a good life and so will my children. We are very loved by wonderful people and that's a privilege , they help shape our Future xxxx
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