I do , quite often. I find I just need to get away from people sometimes. Previously I think I've described myself as socially anti social but last night I found a much better quote. I'm not anti social I'm pro solitude.
I do like people, pretty hard to be in my type of job if you don't , ahhhh the lovely general public. I love my family and have a wonderful group of friends but sometimes I need my space to be alone. Alone doesn't mean lonely, I'm so not lonely . I like my own company, I enjoy chilling out of an Evening after Henry's in bed, reading, being online or watching TV , doing totally as I please. I like shopping on my own, I like walking around Bristol on my own with my camera, I find water very calming. At times of stress solitude is found in a locked bathroom, warm bath, candle light and soft music. It's a coping mechanism that works for me.
On the 23rd of December S and his mum arrived , being polite I felt unable to be in the sanctuary of my bedroom in the Evening. On the 24th December a huge envelope of financial papers arrived from my solicitor for me to complete, I could feel my stomach knotting and my stress increasing then my parents arrived, no escape as the hostess ! By 25th of December Warren arrived into the mix , I guess I was a little worried on how this would be received too, stress increases.......stomach cramps, headache and indigestion type pain. With a host full of guests I wasn't able to get away, to have peace, a relaxing bath. I'm pretty intolerant to noise so I find too many people in a room hard with a TV or PlayStation booming away. See I'm a misery aren't I ? It was 5 days until most of the visitors went It took its toll, I felt unsettled. I wouldn't not invite everyone but I may need to find away to manage the situation better next Christmas, give my own needs some thought I guess. Book a hotel room 😉 !
It's taken until this week to chill out completely again, back to enjoying a relaxing bath and quiet evenings alone in my room. My need to be alone is no reflection on the people I have in my life. I just need breathing space, time to reflect, regroup my thoughts and face another challenge or day. I then enjoy my time with my friends and family as its special .
I think I just have a lot going on at the minute, lots to think about, my thoughts are a little preoccupied therefore the insomnia is trying to come back. I'm managing all of this the best I can and solitude works for me. But are we ever truly in solitude in this high tech wifi , mobile phone etc age ? I'm sure I'm not the only one whose heart sinks when text messages ping or Facebook messenger alerts you etc. You just cannot escape people, it's like being on call 24/7. Maybe that's the problem, maybe it's the electrical devices I need to turn off and then my overactive brain will switch itself off too. Just a thought...........
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