Social Media and Me.

Social Media and Me.

Today the 4th of February is Time to Talk Day helping to dispel the stigma of mental illness.  Mental health issues are common and we must not forget that as one in four of us will be affected by mental illness in one year. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not real. We all have mental health, and it's as important to keep our minds well as it is our bodies. So I hope you've all managed to have a conversation or two today in real life not just Social media land.

I'm lucky that I've managed (just) to keep my mind well. It's sometimes a struggle, today I can feel sadness creeping in, a lump in my throat and tears threatening as I've heard more sad news from my Facebook transplant World. It's been a tough few weeks in the outer circles of my transplant life. So here I am blogging, thinking of locking the bathroom door and lighting candles. All my coping mechanisms will be put into place to keep my mood stable and to aid my sleep this evening. I do often look back at certain times in my life and wonder how I made it through. It would be wrong to say unscathed as I know I have "issues." However on the whole I've been lucky , I've kept my smile and I've remained an optimist. 

    As well as Time to Change Day it's also Heart Awareness Month and today is World Cancer Day so my Facebook feed is full of posts on Congenital Heart Disease , Mental Health Issues, Cancer and the usual stupid animal film ! All have touched my life , well ok not the animal stuff !  I have a mild congenital heart defect, Eloise has acquired heart problems , I know people who have struggled with depression , I've lost people to suicide and my dad has had kidney and skin cancer. So to me the posts mean something but if your life hasn't been touched by any of it what is it like to be bombarded with such posts ? Irritating or enlightening, or are you just bloody relieved it hasn't happened to you ? There's no right or wrong answer.  It's hard getting a balance isn't it, as Facebook and other social media sites are great free platforms for sharing information and awareness to a wide and diverse audience. The Motherhood challenge was another such Facebook gem, being lazy I didn't join in but I'm glad as I have friends who never became mothers and I have friends who no longer have their precious children with them. Why would they want to be swamped by such posts, in such engulfing quantities. 

       This led to further thinking or over thinking. I over share my life. I shove loads of transplant stuff down your throats. I'm wondering how many of my Facebook friends have actually unfollowed me ?  Maybe I need to give it all a rest . I'm sure you don't care whether I'm in the gym, shopping or eating every single day of the week ! I need to shut up ! What the hell did I do pre social media ? Maybe I spoke to real people.....no probably not ! My house was probably cleaner ! Maybe I was just out living my life ? Again I think I need to find a balance or take up a lovely creative hobby to occupy my "spare" aka wasted time ! 

How many of you on my FB are my friends in reality , it's weird when you think about it as on the whole we've stumbled across each other through chains of friends, friend of a friend , of a friend. Or we share a similar interest , so on my FB , heart defects, transplant and being an older mother ! Most of us will never meet but we have a connection. Social media is all about acquaintance ! 

 All the support groups on Facebook are a positive as Members of these groups for example discuss their health conditions, share important information, and resources relevant to their conditions while creating strong support networks. I know I have gained so much because of  a support group or two, it's brought together a wonderful network of people. People who understand what I'm going through as they're travelling a similar path.  It's good not having to explain how I'm feeling to my transplant family. Knowing these people makes me happy we are united but at the same time we all feel each other's pain when things go wrong. Social media brought us all together and I cannot turn my back on it even when things are incredibly sad. I sometimes think of closing my account for a while and letting myself heal. But I can't really as I do feel useful and needed within my transplant community. I may sit back every now and then to regroup my thoughts and find the strength to help again. When Eloise isn't great or if she has an appointment I go AWOL, Twitter became my friend in 2013 as I found FB too much. I'm only human , we all are and I'm not immune to the sad news I often hear. 

                    

         

   So for me Facebook is great for keeping in contact with family, friends, old work colleagues as well as people with similar interests in my life mainly organ donation ! Sadly though in FB support groups or just on a page post I have also had to deal with the rudeness of strangers. Ignorance, arrogance, anger, and just about every other misdirected attitude someone could throw at me has happened on FB . In fact, it's probably worse than in reality as there is more anonymity and distance online, this gives people a false sense of courage. I've come in contact with some truly vile individuals , who have spat out their hatred and upset me greatly. Which then makes me angry because I'm letting them get me down yet they are nothing to me ! Ahhh the button to block an individual is a wonderful tool, my blocked list is quite extensive, I've angered many or been angered ! When will they invent such a thing for blocking difficult people in real life ?