It's taken me a while to decide to share the news that after five years of separation I'm finally divorced. You see I don't want you congratulating me for the wrong thing. I don't need congratulating for having a failed marriage that had to be terminated by a court judge. That really isn't the right cause for celebration in my eyes. When I married it was for life and sadly things didn't turn out that way. So please don't congratulate me for that reason. Also I'm only divorced from one person, someone who no longer loved me.
Celebrate instead the new beginning that my children and I are living right now. We have made ourselves a good life. Our home is a calm and happy place, well until certain combinations of children fight over control of the tv remote. We aren't the Walton's so don't think it's all sugary sweet ! We are a tight little unit and I like that. When there is only you to do everything for your family you just don't mind. When there are two parents and one isn't doing their share it causes resentment. I don't have that anymore and I feel lighter for it. I'm so proud of them and everything they have achieved so far and I'm excited for their futures as I see nothing holding them back. I like the way they are developing , they are all individuals capable of great things if I nurture them properly. My four children came out of the broken marriage so please celebrate their lives with me and how blessed I am to have four beautiful, amazing children.
Celebrate the woman I have become, she was probably always there but kept quiet, now she makes herself heard even if sometimes she still whispers. I am no longer mute. So please celebrate the fact I'm evolving all the time and I like what I see. I feel like "me" again, does that make sense ? I feel stronger, both physically because of going to the gym, exercising has been very positive, I can see my shape changing and I know I'm making myself healthier. Mentally I'm in good shape too, thank you blog, thank you those who listen to me, thank you to those who read and comment on my therapy blog posts ! My confidence has grown , so I feel differently about myself and I feel I make better choices in life. I'm no longer invisible, even today walking home from the gym, I smiled and greeted a few people and they all saw me and smiled back and that feels good. Celebrate the changes in my wardrobe ! I know totally shallow but it felt so good to start dressing up every Friday, to put on a frock instead of jeans whatever the weather ,season or occasion. Frock Friday changed me and I'm barely out of a dress now, I'm wearing a skirt today though. It's been good to take pride in my appearance again, I am a little lipstick obsessed though, but it dresses the smile ! So celebrate me "growing up" taking on the home on my own. Yes I know I'm still not a fully paid up adult and I still freak out at bills ,DIY disasters and things going wrong in my home but Google and YouTube are quite helpful.
So can you understand why the end of my marriage and my divorce isn't the thing to celebrate ? Celebrate my new beginning please, that would make me happy. So thank you to those who have been by my side for the past five years, I'm incredibly grateful to you all. Thank you to those who have walked into my life since and the biggest thank you to those who buggered off as you truly weren't the right people to be in my life.
So let's all drink to New Beginnings and celebrate life 🍹🍸🍹
No comments:
Post a Comment