Ok here goes, weight, or more precisely being overweight . I've probably been overweight my whole adult life but this is where being tall has its benefits. Any weight gain takes its time to show up to others. I think most people who know me would be shocked if they knew how much I actually weighed. So I usually get " you're not fat " but that's not true, I do carry around excess weight. I've never gone up and down in size of clothes in my wardrobe, my dresses are a 14 or 16, shirts and coats 16, sweatshirts XL and jeans if I can get any to fit my arse and thighs are also a 16. Yet I have managed to squeeze an extra stone or two into these clothes over the past few years ! Last time I had a BMI in range was 2000 after a successful few months at Slimming World ! Then I got pregnant with Eloise. On the whole though I have remained at an okish pretty stable overweight until the past couple of years when pounds have been added on and have been pretty stubborn to shift. As Henry is now six it's wrong to blame pregnancy ! Shockingly a month ago my BMI changed from being overweight to being obese. How worried did that make me feel ? Felt quite sick to be honest and ashamed. Pretty good wake up call though, wasn't great standing on the scales at the GP surgery when I had the Flu either !
What do I blame ? Age is a favourite, now I'm in my mid 40's or maybe the peri menopause , if we're sharing I only have a couple of light periods every year. Perhaps I'm getting heavier as I'm going to the gym and muscle is heavier than fat, right ? I know being in a relationship hasn't helped, more lovely meals out, more treats at home, dessert and eating man size portions ! But truly it's just down to one thing , food and my relationship with it. I do like to "treat" or reward myself. This is my you've been good all day and eaten well so have a treat this evening mentality or you've burnt 500 calories at the gym so replace them with something yummy like biscuits !
So I'm trying to re educate myself, it's not too late, I can turn this around, I don't have to keep my middle aged spread. This isn't how it has to be. Something has changed inside me over the past month and I actually feel ready to tackle my weight issue and I feel very positive. Let's just see if I revisit this post in a couple of months and I'm succeeding then perhaps I'll be writing a wonderful positive update !
I've already decided I'm never going to make my children finish food. When they say they've had enough I won't force them to eat more (although of course I'd rather it wasn't the veg left uneaten ) They don't need to feel stuffed ! Food left uneaten isn't wasted. I find this harder when you eat out as you pay so much for a meal then not to eat it seems criminal , but it's not, stuffing food down your throat that you do not want or need that's just wrong. We always eat at the table so that's ok but perhaps we should switch the TV so we can concentrate on our food and each other ! I don't want my children to feel like I did as a child, I always felt big, quite sad really as looking back at photographs of myself I was totally fine as a child and teenager, just bigger than the average child as I was so much taller than my peers !
I guess I'm feeling brave enough to write this post as I'm doing ok , I have lost 15 lbs in 5 weeks , 10 of those in the last 3 weeks. Clothes are feeling loser, my eating habits are changing. I'm being mindful ! I'm drinking water when I can but its still not a favourite of mine ! 2-3 litres of fluid a day, yep I'm always in the loo ! Going to the gym seems easier, I'm feeling more motivated, clothes are fitting a bit better. Most importantly my arms are looking a little less beefy in my work uniform. I guess that was the decider I didn't want to be humiliated by having to ask for a bigger size ! Oh yes I'm back to being overweight instead of obese, always a plus ! So another two stone to go to make my BMI go just into range but I'll listen to my body and see what happens next. I'm excited and positive about my "weight loss journey" sounding a little American there ! I just want to take good care of my body, it's getting a little worn around the edges. I just want it to be the best it can be .
So what's the secret ? No diet, no pills, no increase in exercise, no slimming club just re education and knowing when I'm hungry. Actually my weight loss has cost me the sum of £4.99 in the form of an App. Not sure how or why I stumbled on this little golden nugget of information but I'm so glad I did. Not being on a diet is quite liberating ! I'm hypnotising myself slim , can't say I'd believe it either......😉
So let's hope when I go on holiday to Turkey in less than three months I don't look like a whale in my swimming costume . I don't want to be harpooned or released back into the wild. I'm not sure how long it will take me to achieve this much desired transformation but hey I didn't put all this weight on in just a few months. Slow and steady wins the race , I just hope I can stay focused, this will hopefully just be my new way of life . I'm looking forward to it. XxxxX
I know what you mean about being tall, I'm always getting comments that I'm not fat when I am quite obviously overweight! Good luck on your loss, you're off to a great start xx
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